Tag Archives: overwhelm

Sisters of the Soul – Completion

I’ve been tired… so tired. Working like mad at the office, but I finally feel like I’m climbing back out of my slump. A temp started this week and has begun to help with the backlog that I haven’t been able to attend to myself because there is so much other, more pressing, work to do.

I’ve finally completed my last contribution in the Sisters of the Soul round robin project… a piece in Bev Martini’s box of canvas sheets (above). The focal point is a portrait of my sister that I drew, imported into Photoshop, manipulated and printed out, transferred onto the canvas, which I then painted with acrylic paint.

I’ve been working at a snail’s pace… in fact, I’m amazed that I’m producing anything at all. I feel so flat! There is hope yet though…

During my last couple of visits to the book store, I picked up more books (tell me this does NOT surprise you!) and have begun reading One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer, which is part of Jill Badonsky’s (author of Nine Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard)) curriculum for Kaisen-Muse Creativity Coaching training which I’ll be starting at the end of this month. This I am very much excited about. In fact, I have no doubt that I’ll be my own best (first) customer.

Another couple of things I’m looking forward to this upcoming week:

  • Attending Sidley’s Annual Museum Event – Dali: Painting & Film at LACMA
  • Getting more work done on the forget-me-not tattoo on my left wrist
  • I’m also in the throes of working on my Gothica collaboration project, having finally received the last of the contributions mid-week last week. I am tripod equipped and will start shooting the pieces, since they’ve overrun my living quarters and it is time to move them out. What I flub we’ll re-shoot this week with the master photographer of the household (not me), but at least I’ll be able to get started on laying out the book in InDesign.

    Last night Gabriel and I stopped off at South Coast where I made my habitual stop at the Paper Source but on my way there I was drawn in by the spooky candle displays at Illuminations, where I purchased a table runner and a ghostly candle (which is a hoot! …it flashes different colors as it burns… what will they come up with next?!). I think hallowe’en has got to be one of my favorite celebrations, right up there with yule.

    Oh, and speaking of baby steps… I’ve been slowly straightening out my stuff, de-cluttering… I’ve almost reached a point where I can potentially use the surface of my workbench with a few more organizational cullings.

    People often tell me “I don’t know how you have time to do everything that you do.” Well, quite frankly, I don’t… have time, that is. It’s the case of the small blanket for a large bed. I tug on one end and cover here, but it leaves the other part bare. That is how I manage to do what I do. I have to pick and chose what I spend my time on, and since I can’t do everything, I do what I can. So, it appears like I’m productive, but really, I’m just masterful at doing little bits of everything, here and there. What do they call it… multi-tasking?

    It rained last night… I know, it would seem to be a non-event but in Southern California it’s quite the novelty. Which is why I live here.

    My angel


    This is Gabriel with his two birdie friends… Sky and Cloud. They’re sweet little birdies. This morning they were protesting about the clanking I was doing as I unloaded the dishwasher. Then I sat down to watch some TV and they hopped over to the lower rung by the door and were chirping at me in such a way as to indicate that they wanted out, now! and then proceeded to promptly poop on me. If shit is lucky, as my mom used to proclaim (though I fail to see how this would be the case), then I ought to go out and buy some lotto tickets, for I will surely win the big one this week. First I’ll take something for this blazing headache, though.

    I got a report from the Grands last night, that Gabriel and Grandma were making busy in the kitchen, baking some mix cake. He loves to cook with me, he says, and so his great hopes for this weekend were to cook with Grandma. Grandma cooks about as much as I do, so it takes some extra effort to get her into the kitchen, but she made it, and I’m sure Gabriel will come home with happy stories tonight.

    I have errands to run today, and some work around the house. I have to marble some paper, too… and see if I can assemble more of those books. Make a list of the folks who want the book and those who don’t. Pick up a tool so I can produce nice, even (and “fancy”) cuts into the watercolor paper I want to use for my next project (stay tuned). I need to finish compiling the worksheet for the accountant for the 2004 taxes and put together the 2005 expense sheet as well. The floors need sweeping and mopping. The carpets need vaccuuming. The dishwasher needs to be reloaded. Laundry needs to be done. I haven’t dusted in so long that I could peel it off of surfaces and use it as felt. Then there’s the matter of the sinks and toilets and tub. I plan big and accomplish small, but I suppose it’s better than not accomplishing anything.

    So I’ll be off to Trader Joe’s in a bit, after I’ve cleaned out the fridge and assessed what we need for the week. This is where I ought to be menu planning, but instead I go to the store with the notion that I need to pick up enough “stuff” to make five or six meals, whatever that means, and end up a) spending too much money, and b) throwing most of the stuff out two weeks later, because we went to the Indian place one night and got pizza the next, ate at Claim Jumper the one after and … well, you get the picture. So I’m doubly broke, because I spent too much money on groceries I never cooked and then went out to eat on top of that. If energy wasn’t a factor, I’m sure I’d be cooking up a storm and the place would be spotless. It’s not just energy… it’s the lack of motivation. Who woke up and made *me* maid?

    I wonder how I used to be able to do all of this? And commute 130 miles a day… and put it a good day’s work… and nurse (or pump) several times each day… and… … dang… small wonder I burnt out. And I did. BIG flame out. That was something to behold. And I had to deal with it on my own, because hubby was very much like a deer in headlights… “What do I do with a crazy person?” was his first (and last) thought… not “Geez, how can I help my over-extended wife?” Kick me when I’d down… I can handle it… and I did.

    Thank goodness I had my little angel… I pulled through because somehow in the murk I was able to find the will to be there for him… nothing more, nothing less.