They always remind me of my mother, these flowers. They were amongst her favourites, and count among mine as well. I would randomly bring her a bouquet here and there, knowing how the flowers delighted her.
Our relationship was complex and with her passing I have had much time to reflect on so much of it. I at once miss her and feel relief at her passing. And anger, too, for so many things. And larger than life admiration. She was something.
In the end I need help to unravel the ball of wax that was our family dynamics (which ultimately shaped the who I have become).
I am hopeful.