Tag Archives: feeling sorry for myself


Well, you’d think that somewhere in my life there is respite, but there isn’t. I’m working like a mad person at the office and leaving daily feeling like a wet noodle, to arrive home to another job… make dinner… clean up… de-ant-ify the kitchen counter… fold and put away clean laundry… the list could be longer, but I can only do so much. By the time I finish with that, I don’t feel like doing anything except crashing, so my art projects lay unattended to.

I know… I sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself. Yup, I am, though I try not to indulge myself in that sort of thing because it doesn’t resolve anything and only makes me feel all the shittier.

On the up side, I purchased a couple of subscriptions to the Pacific Symphony Orchestra’s upcoming season at the O.C. Performing Arts Center. Gabriel and I will be attending the children’s programme on Saturday mornings, and I’ve purchased tickets for a half dozen performances off of the Classics roster. I’ve not heard them play in the new Center, so I’m looking forward to experiencing that. I never thought I’d say this but I’ve grown to love classical music. I love all types of music, depending upon what mood I’m in, but there’s nothing quite like hearing classical pieces performed live. It moves me to another place… within myself, perhaps without myself, replete with goosebumps, and soaring heart and has the power to move me to tears. But then… the Incubus concert I went to a few weeks ago did the same thing; how’s that for eclectic?


Pencil sketch

I’ve not written in a while. I’ve been busy with… reading the new (and final) Harry Potter book… work… preparing food for the family… taking the kids to the pool… buying kitchen implements and stuff (including some cupcake mixes packaged by Sprinkles and purchasing a yoghourt machine)… I’ll put up some “catch-up” posts this weekend.

Things I’m bummed about lately: missing the San Diego Comic-Con this week… the fact that the recently released Harry Potter book may perhaps be the last… that people at my place of work continue to antagonize me in ways I can’t even begin to explain, but mostly having to do with an incredibly devolved person with control issues… my struggles with being accepting of others (including their patently obvious faults) and accepting the same in myself… deflated about not being in business for myself, and being able to make a living from my writing or my art… which should really be prefaced with a) kicking self in butt for not finishing my college education and b) not having enough self-discipline or self-motivation to figure out how to “get there from here” on my own… and finally… feeling profoundly lonely.