Watercolor Moleskine revisited

I drew this sketch last Valentine’s day (2009) and as I was foraging around my place today, antsy to DO something artsy and visual, but not feeling like starting a whole new project from scratch, or wanting to rack my brain on thinking of something original, I looked over and saw my watercolor Moleskine sitting on the shelf and I went “hmmmmm…” I flipped through some of the pages and came across the initial pencil sketch and I thought… “yep, I’m going to add color to this.” So I did. I added it with regular and watersoluble graphite pencils and then swirled water around on it, but I resketched the heart first (since initially it was a Valentine day type heart).

My heart has been “fluttering” lately, and so I have an appointment set up for May 3rd with a cardiologist for a check up, but aside from the obviously physical heart “issues” I have also been pulling attention and intention to my heart. I find that the more I am in my heart space, as opposed to my head space, the better choices I make in relation to all of my actions.

I just finished listening to Gary Zukav’s podcast from the Healing With The Masters website (though they update the podcasts to the most recent speakers, so it may not be Gary’s interview you will encounter at the link). It was an awesome interview, in which he discusses the concepts written about in his new book Spiritual Partnership: The Journey to Authentic Power (being released later this month) and the guidelines to follow in order to establish them.

There is always an intricate synchronicity to our journeys, and when we pay attention we get to notice them. This interview resonated with me on several levels: firstly, it called my attention to personal responsibility… that I am responsible for myself, how I express myself and how I choose to react to external stimuli. The thought here was not to disengage from feeling, nor to sink into the emotional wave that rises, but to notice it, feel it and choose my course of action. Essentially, it is an exercise in self-mastery. It also pointed to how we also can choose to manipulate (self and others), by imposing our own ideals and judgements upon others, or allowing others to do the same. This too was enlightening. The whole (new age) Lightbearer concept is based upon convincing others that you have the best magic carpet ride to enlightenment, and to come onboard for the ride because their soul will thank you for it later. This model simply leads by example, focusing on our beautiful (and unceremoniously flawed) humanity, acknowledging and working with our limitations so that we may transcend them by using more than our five senses. Now that I can chew on.

And finally, as if the aforementioned was not already enough, there was a portion of the interview that brought up an example of an executive who becomes unemployed and how someone with whom he is in a Spiritual Partnership (as opposed to just merely a friendship) asks him these incredible questions… questions that resonated with me on so many levels because they addressed the very things that I have been grappling with since being let go from my most recent job, as well as the previous one. I thought… “wow!” I thought “I really needed to hear this, now, and feel what these questions feel like in my body, and find the source of the things that I am feeling so that I can move past this because otherwise the situation will present itself again.” So… I’m feeling… and thinking… and processing. And that is a good thing.

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